Darkness, survival, Thoughts

The Other Side of Amnesia

It’s dusk as I stare into oblivion
Enchanted by the sound of leaves,
The sound of trees, and the sound of everything that is free.
As the rain pours on the timid twigs and the distant grounds,
As the breeze creates a mystical ballad,
I think of everything wild and free.

Sitting in a 4 by 4 room
the lights are out.
A stale smell of forgotten aspirations,
Of planned cassations,
Of memories, that were once hopes and dreams and everything a man could need.
Memories now washed ashore with the strong tides of normalcy.
Norms and structured demands of the society.
Not the society outside, but the one that is inside
You see, the outside chaos can never intervene with the inside calm
If there is a calm inside, in the first place.
Secondly, the society that exists within a man himself
is more dangerous than the one present in his physical environment.
The desire to be acceptable is the most venomous poison there can be.
‘What ifs’ and ‘what nots’ have the power to change the world as we see it
Change the picture, the way we paint it
Change the perception, and the way we believe it.


It’s dawn as I still look out into oblivion
Watch the storm settle,
Watch the light come to life again,
Watch the beauty of life transcend over time.
I forget what I was yesterday
Whether a man or just a memory
I forget the questions of yesterday,
The ‘what ifs’ that may have existed, I forget everything that pestered me yesterday.
What I am today, is in no way in significance to what I was.


I am a man blessed with the power to heal,
To feel what it is to be free.
Free of the omnipresent burdens that all other men carry
Free of the sordid existence that existed through me yesterday.
I am also a man cursed under the spell to die
To die each day, along with the smiles that the day brought along,
To forget each day the name of my favourite song.
To drown in amnesia, to un-know the reality of a new dawn
I am a man who ceases to be
Yet ceases to cease in this beautiful excuse called life.

Utkarsh Sood | PGDM 2017-19