Darkness, Thoughts

Identity

As I lay down tonight,

I stare at the ceiling,

     And I see apparitions of my past…

Have I been running away from them?

Or have my eyes just popped open?

For the first time in my life

I wonder, as I try to dreadfully

Gather my thoughts.

I feel a strange contentment,

As if I have woken up

In a parallel universe

I am watching myself sin and satiate

From a distance though

I feel scared that I might wake up

And the dividing line between,

The real and the trance will fade

The innocence will leave the mind

Making way for profanity to step inside.

I am fighting hard to stay in slumber

Soon, I am sure darkness will come

Drag me out of bed, through the avenues

Where I had built my fortress of hope

To find that it is another gutter

Where rats and other sycophants live and die,

All in darkness and obscurity.

The dampness is choking but it smells of familiarity,

I have failed in my endeavour;

I have woken up…

Who am I?

Tanvi Pandey | PGDM 2016-18

Tanvi Pandey