Feelings, Love, memories

Forsaken Memory!

The following day was a grand event where all business tycoons would meet and celebrate the striking success of David. The preceding night, while he drank the 7th peg he made for himself, he did some alterations to the next day’s party schedule. Thousands of memories traversed his mind and he continued looking at the big round moon, with tear drops flowing down from his eyes. He had never felt so isolated. He had never missed her so much before. After an inordinate length of time, he finally decided to glance through her suicide note!

Years back, that day, nobody was aware when she started choking. The aroma was tender. It felt like every object in the room tried shouting at her to not to kill herself including that little diamond earring lying on the bed, which he gifted her on her birthday. Flashback of some moments, some happy and some sad brought tears to her eyes, and then she could no more feel the pain of the robe squeezing her neck while she revisited her entire life in some 10 minutes of slow death.

She remembered when they met for the first time. The red car perfectly matched his dark red shirt and the cream sweater gave complexion to his fair skin. She recollected the time when they went out for lunches and dinner and relived moments of those long drives. While her soul was leaving her body forever, Christine wanted to scream and shout out loud to David. She wanted to tell him that her love was pure. That she was sorry for construing him wrong. That she never anticipated that the hands she valued and adored the most would be the reason for the bruises all over her body. That the wounds were gone but the painful memory remained. That she was guilty of abusing him. She wanted to tell it all.

 It felt so strange to her realizing that ‘Real’ happiness lies in us; it lies in the moments which we decide to live for ourselves, it lies in that heart that stops expecting. It lies, in maturing! Nobody understood the fact better than her that the worth of a moment is known once it’s lost.

When David unfolded the letter for the first time in ten years, his hands shivered. He could breathe her smell. Like those days were back and she was standing next to him trying to act serious but smiling. Then, he reminisced how he had rushed to the hospital to see her frozen body. How he jerked her dead body asking her “why?! Why this step?” With alcohol reacting and taking over the power to read, he barely saw the line which read, “I will love you for a thousand more…” He could read no more. He recalled all the years he was with her. Silence prevailed in the room when he emotionally broke down. Nothing mattered then, neither his success nor her death. Feelings prevailed. That ‘why’ lingered. The regret of not saying a final goodbye remained.

Hours later, with a heavy heart and teary eyes, he got up, washed his face, folded her letter, put it inside his lock box, locked it up and threw away the key, forever!

Isha Rajput|PGDM 2016-18