Embrace Your Imperfect Self
Sitting in my hostel room at 3 A. M. in the morning, a thought came across my mind, what would happen if I let go? Initially I thought I would become self-absorbed but no. I realised that I wasn’t the only one on this Earth feeling this way. There are a lot of people who feel the same, they could even be your friends, and everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Our issues are not greater than everyone else’s. I started to feel compassion for myself and for others.
It has always been this way with me, I push myself without realising it. To quote a few examples from my past, I would not start work on an assignment till the day before submission, I would not study for a test till the night before, even push my relation to the edge so I could then try to save it. Knowing the importance of things, but still taking them for granted. But it were these things that kept me going, I would have long given up if I didn’t have the pressure upon myself. The pressure of landing in a good job, the pressure of earning enough to afford the lifestyle I have always wished for, the pressure of being so perfect that I can easily marry the love of my life and most importantly, the pressure of making my parents proud. It was this fear of losing all this that kept me motivated and kept me growing.
It was right then and there that my conviction structure began to fall on itself, and I understood that I didn’t need to be that tough on myself for inspiration. I could really be caring and it would have a significantly more notable impact. I felt an affection came over me like waves, like it had been wanting to come through for a long time, however I had blocked it. I realized that I’m alright the way I am. Like we are all impeccable in our defective way, and that is really what it’s intended to be.
Shaan Vasavada | PGDM 2015-17