To be able to forget her past, to put it all behind her, to leave the baggage and move on, to not keep recalling those horrible memories, was all she wanted. She was stuck in the loop, a never ending loop, which she felt like she could never get out of. Every time she felt like it was the end, it would come right back like a blow of wind and she’d be on the ground again. She would give in to the pleasures, not realising the consequences. This labyrinth, this mirage of happiness that would suck her in with all its force, and make her lose a piece of herself that she would never get back. Then the realisation would strike and she would garner all her courage and put her broken pieces back together, get back on her feet, only to receive a fresh, much stronger blow. As helpless as she felt, she was determined to break out of it. The options she saw didn’t seem enough, and the solution to it all was an unrealistic, impractical idea that would never take form in her world.
She was tired of being stuck in this downward spiral that was holding her back from achieving anything at all. She needed to find her inner strength, the will to fight, pull out the urge to get through this, from the deepest core of her heart. She was far too determined this time. Nothing could stop her. She knew, she believed that the next time she stood up, it would be to never fall down again. She put back all her pieces, like every other time, but this time she knew it would be the last.
The next blow felt unexpectedly pleasing, like the wind on a warm summer morning. It almost felt like a new life came to her in that moment. She was breathing new air, looking at a world which was more beautiful, a world that would welcome her with arms wide open. She could turn over a new leaf and write a new story, write her new story. No baggage, no memories to haunt, only lessons learnt, no trailing past. She had her fresh start. She smiled, she was happy. She was told she was pretty and she could conquer the world with that smile of hers. Nobody would ever talk about her past, like it never existed. She finally had her clean slate.
Subhi Poddar | PGDM 2016-18